The Importance of Forgiveness

In an earlier post, Caleb told a story about his pet bird Zebra and the mystery that surrounds us all. When we lose a loved one, whether from a long-known illness or sudden accident, we often wonder what God's purpose is in taking that person from us. 

Tomorrow will mark two years since my mom died. As I think about how her death has affected me, I am deeply convicted. It is hard for me to think about good memories I have with my mom. I can think of several fights, both physical and verbal. I remember not wanting to go to her house on Christmas Eve. I remember yelling at her and treating her with no respect. However, when my mom was suddenly taken from me I had a deep desire to have her back. When my mom died I was still angry at her. I had not forgiven her. I had not truly loved her. Since her death, I have been able to forgive her. I love her more now than I ever have. 

Here's where the conviction comes in: 

Why did my mom have to die to receive my forgiveness? Yes, there are many things my mom did that she should not have. But I sin daily and hurt others often. Why is it that I expect others to forgive me so quickly if I couldn't offer the same forgiveness to my mom? Why is it that I expect GOD to forgive me so often? 

Through my mom's death, God has worked in my heart. I now see the importance of forgiveness in a whole new way. I want to make a conscious effort to forgive and love. God forgives me even though I never deserve it. He has given us the power to show that same forgiveness to those around us. So let's take advantage of that power, and pour love on others. 

Some good memories:

- Taking my mom shopping before my high school graduation. She wanted to look really nice, so she asked Maddy and me to take her to get a new outfit. I will never forget how excited she was. 

- After getting engaged my mom immediately told me that she didn't have the money to pay for the wedding. However, she did promise to buy my wedding dress. She died less than 2 weeks after our engagement, but my dress was still bought with money from my mom. 

- Her telling Caleb to call her mom, even though he was only my boyfriend. Because she knew he would be her son one day. 

I am so thankful for these memories, and the others I hold in my heart. Forgiveness is beautiful. 

"We love because he first loved us." 1 John 4:19

Angela "Angel" Benson 

1970-2011